When we get down on ourselves, it’s not always what others say about us. It’s the narratives we tell ourselves. When you’re told you can do anything, and something goes wrong, it can feel overwhelming. You may begin to spiral, wondering what you could have done differently. However, the negative self-talk and its impact on your mental health could be the very thing getting in your way. Don’t feel bad about feeling bad: the negativity bias is part of human nature. In fact, it’s said that you need to have three positive experiences to outweigh each negative one.
To overcome this negativity bias, you need to learn to manage your expectations of yourself. Remember that, no matter who you are, nothing happens overnight. Anything worth having involves hard work, dedication and sacrifice.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Evaluate your skills, talents and limitations to get a clear picture of what you can expect of yourself. Note that some of these may change as you work toward your goals, so you may want to reassess yourself in the future. Set achievable goals, and work on areas of improvement. What do you want to accomplish, and what is the best way for YOU to accomplish it?
You’re a different person when you’re hydrated, rested and well-nourished. Take care of yourself before your body makes the choice for you. Eat nutritious foods, drink plenty of water and get enough rest. Set aside time in your busy schedule to relax and recharge. This is especially important if you’re starting a new diet or workout routine. Figure out what you enjoy doing to relax, and make sure you dedicate enough time to it each week. Your body and mind will thank you later.
Do you ever get in a pattern of expecting the world of yourself, more than you ever would for others? When you start to get down on yourself, take a step back. Consider whether you would say what you’re saying to yourself to a friend or loved one. If they made the same mistake or did the same thing, what would you say to them? Celebrate your successes, and give yourself grace when you feel you have fallen short. The efforts you made are still a step in the right direction.
Sometimes, you make your best effort to be kind to yourself, and the negative self-talk takes over. When this happens, reach out to a friend, family member or therapist. Let them know what’s going on and that, at this moment, you need help. Your surroundings also play a role in the energy you reflect. Try to spend more time with people who encourage you and those who have a positive attitude in these moments. It can go a long way toward feeling better about yourself. It’ll also feel more natural to give yourself positive affirmations if you’re around people who do that themselves!
Your expectations of yourself won’t change overnight. There will be days when the negative thoughts you’ve been harboring sneak up on you, and those days will be hard. Focus on what you can do to break the cycle. Remember, you are human, and no human is perfect. As long as you keep working toward your goals, you’re on the right track.
