Life can be difficult for people living in bigger bodies. This can be for any number of reasons, but one of the most challenging ones to overcome is the societal stigma. Whether or not they intend to, people often make assumptions about people who are heavier than they are. In a culture that glorifies certain body types, it can be difficult for people to see their own weight bias, even for people who are on the receiving end. However, it’s important to consider this bias and build resilience around it, especially if you’re working on losing weight. Here are some ways you can build resilience throughout your journey:
Patients have told me that they suddenly feel “seen” after weight loss, and that often brings up mixed emotions, from validation and pride to grief and betrayal. Realizing people treated you differently before because of your weight can be deeply hurtful. While you may be tempted to blame the other person for their actions, or worse, blame yourself, remember that society’s bias is where it comes from. Chances are, the people in your life want to be supportive and may not always show it in the best way.
When people make uncalled-for comments throughout your weight loss journey, it’s okay to allow yourself to feel hurt. Resilience means allowing this pain in without letting it become your identity. No matter what is going on around you, you stick with your weight loss plan, caring for your body because you deserve health.
As you build resilience, you will find it easier to keep meal plans on track, get out and exercise, and consistently make good choices. Most of us don’t build resilience on our own. Asking for support from professionals and loved ones is an important part of the process.
Sometimes, all positivity can be confused with toxic positivity, which is being told to smile through everything. Rather than denying your true feelings, you can build resilience by reframing your negative thoughts and experiences. Start by naming what you’re feeling, even if it’s a mix of positive and negative emotions. Remind yourself that progress is more than appearance. It’s also made through increased energy and mobility, improved sleep and labs, and building confidence throughout your journey.
To help yourself stay motivated and positive, limit exposure to people or media that equate thinness with worth. This messaging may have caused some of the problems you are already experiencing with your weight. Consider therapy or support groups to process identity shifts during major weight changes. Talking through your feelings, especially with others in a similar situation, can help you understand your journey and feel empowered to keep moving forward.
Weight loss journeys happen in several stages, and they all come with their own challenges. One of the first steps you should take is to choose healthcare providers and support systems that treat you with respect. If your provider shames you for your weight, consider finding a new one who is more supportive. Once you find the right support system, set non-scale goals alongside your goal weight. This will help you see progress, even as you experience plateaus.
Practice interrupting harsh self-talk with more honest, compassionate language. Yes, you want to change, and that is because you care about yourself and want what is best for you, not because you have done something “wrong.” You did not cause your weight gain on your own, but you can control your weight loss. Remember, you can do this, and building resilience early on helps.
